Eight Questions to Inspire Growth & Change
Be not afraid of growing slowly, be only afraid of standing still.
-Chinese Proverb
Download my free EBook, Coaching for Change: A Guide to Facilitating Change for Leaders, Coaches, & Personal Growth Enthusiasts
The start of the year represents a meaningful opportunity to work towards new goals or a freshly inspired plan. You may or may not be a fan of New Year’s Resolutions, SMART goals, or atomic habits, but you likely have some solid intentions to pursue growth in yourself, your work, or your relationships.
If you’re feeling discouraged in the growth journey, or just looking for fresh motivation, find some strategies here to help you persevere:
Recognize Common Barriers to Change
The spark of energy at the beginning of a fresh start is a powerful motivator. You’ve set the goal, written it down, told your family about it, and your new and healthier habits are ready to roll:
your never-been-worn-before gym clothes are laid out
your journal is sitting on the nightstand opened to the first page
your super-food filled lunch is carefully packed the night before
The vision of the replacing the old with the new, of reviving our identity into who we really want to be, is what moves us to action and creates compelling hope for the future.
However … no matter how bold or fresh your initial inspiration is, you are likely to all too quickly hit some roadblocks. For resolution-setters, the success rate is grim. Only 36% make it to February, and a staggering 9% are actually successful at implementing their plans.
Maybe it’s that resolutions just don’t work. Perhaps if you are a SMART goal-setter, or tackling change through tiny habits, you are seeing more progress?
Or maybe it’s just that many of us struggle to overcome some of the most common barriers to change. Katy Milkman, researcher and author of How to Change: The Science of Getting from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be, explains how important it is to be prepared for these top barriers. Which one is most likely to hold you back?
laziness
impulsivity
procrastination
forgetfulness
lack of confidence
When seeking personal change, our key focus is often on making progress, on getting to the end goal. But the truth is, no matter what barriers we face, the path to progress is never linear.
Despite the best of intentions and carefully crafted plans, there are usually many dips and valleys and twists and turns on our route. As we go through the highs and lows, we need strategies to intentionally prepare for and lean into the growth opportunities in the journey.
Eight Questions to Inspire Change
Questions are energizing, creative tools to help shape our thinking and our actions. The eight questions here are designed to correspond to different phases of a personal change process, and intended to help you:
self-reflect throughout each stage
pursue intentional growth
coach and support others in their journey
These questions can support your personal change journey as journal prompts or a guide to ongoing reflection. If are a leader or a coach, you can use these to encourage colleagues, family, and friends in their pursuit of change.
Download my free EBook to get my 50+ page guide Coaching for Change, which includes 88 total coaching or reflection questions, a guided 8-day reflection plan, a 30-day coaching challenge, as well as additional resources for coaches and leaders who coach.
1. THE PURPOSE QUESTION > How would you describe your life purpose?
Discerning your greater purpose in life is like a compass, giving you clarity for the road ahead and drawing you back when you veer off course. Once the answer to this question is clarified, it can further shape your future direction and help you align your growth and change efforts more strategically to the big picture perspective.
2. THE POSSIBILITIES QUESTION > What vision do you want to see fulfilled?
Identifying a future vision that energizes and excites you is one of the most important initial steps to secure a path to personal change. In his theory of intentional change, professor Richard Boyatzis explains how identifying a motivating vision ignites positive emotions in the brain and stimulates our creativity.
So when you feel ready to jump in and set new goals, try new strategies, and create new habits, take a step back and spend time creating a vision first. Get clear on what you want to see happen, what it would look like, and what is most exciting to you.
3. THE PRIORITIES QUESTION > What are the gaps between where you are now and where you want to be?
After you have a vision of how you want to grow, it’s important to realize where the gaps are, compared to who you are right now. If you want to build a thriving community that will support you through your parenting journey, it will be valuable to recognize any personal strengths and weaknesses in your ability to accomplish this. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Do you have the time and energy to invest in new relationships?
Recognizing our gaps for growth requires a high level of self-awareness. In her recent research, Tasha Eurich found that although the vast majority of people consider themselves to be self-aware, only a small percentage truly are. In her work, Eurich describes the importance of both internal (how we see ourselves) and external self-awareness (how others perceive and experience us). In order to see your personal vision for change fulfilled, you need to be able to accurately see your strengths and weaknesses in relation to your goals.
4. THE PERSPECTIVE QUESTION > What is your mindset towards change?
Your purpose is established, your vision is clear, and you have identified gaps to making your vision a reality. Next, there’s another layer of self-awareness to explore that is vital to making progress. Take the time to understand your motivation and your core beliefs about change and growth.
What is motivating you? How motivated are you?
What do you believe, deep down, about your capacity to change?
What are your fears and doubts?
In this step it is important to identify and address any limiting beliefs that have the potential to hijack your vision for change and growth. Recognize any beliefs that are holding you back, and where those beliefs are coming from (family, cultural or societal expectations, life circumstances, etc.). Once you have identified any limiting beliefs, decide how to address them.
5. THE PLANNING QUESTION > What steps will help you see your vision fulfilled?
Now it’s time to prepare for action with a thoughtfully designed plan. The plan you create should target your specific growth goals to help you see your vision for change succeed. It should also include the information, resources, and strategies you need to be successful.
Researcher Richard Boyatzis recommends that every growth plan should include learning activities that excite you and that are aligned to your personal style - your strengths, personality, and preferences. In your planning, also consider the people who will provide helpful feedback and support in your growth journey.
6. THE PROTOTYPING QUESTION > How will you know if your plan is working?
It’s all too easy to assume that your carefully designed growth plan will lead to a successful personal change initiative. And hopefully it will! But what if one key reason we often don’t see our plans through is because we are stuck on one strategy that just isn’t working?
If your plan fails, it can quickly lead to feelings of defeat and discouragement. Instead of being derailed by the failed attempts, reframe the failure as valuable feedback and adapt your plan to land on the right combination of strategies.
So as you begin to put your plan into action, take some valuable cues from design thinking and adopt an experimental approach. Be ready to evaluate what is working and what is not, and be prepared with back-up plans in case the first strategies do not succeed.
7. THE PROGRESS QUESTION > What habits will support long-term change?
Once you find strategies that work, you will feel the thrill of success and a new wave of momentum. Use that energy to your advantage, because the next step is to build habits so your behaviors become automatic and stick around for the long haul.
In his book Atomic Habits, James Clear explains the importance of clarifying your ideal identity as essential to success. As you do the hard work of establishing habits, you are literally rewiring the neurons in your brain to follow new pathways, so renew your initial vision to keep your motivation flowing.
As you consider how to structure your days and schedule your time, realize that habits are the action steps that will most help to promote the development of your ideal identity. Instead of dreading the mundane monotony of daily discipline, remind yourself of your compelling vision for change with each intentional step you take towards a new habit, starting with this phrase: “I am the type of person who _________."
8. THE PERSEVERANCE QUESTION > How will you overcome setbacks?
Despite the progress you’ve made, it’s astoundingly easy to get deterred from our path of growth. Distractions, detours, and devastations will inevitably interfere at the most inopportune times.
If we want to be successful in the long-term, we must intentionally build our resilience throughout the growth process. Brené Brown describes the characteristics of resilient people as those who practice:
self-reflection
problem-solving
asking for help
creating a support network
Be intentional in this phase and find creative ways to renew your energy. Celebrate the progress you’ve made, plan a fresh start date if you’ve gotten off track, or reach out to friends for support to help you keep moving forward.
Get my Free EBook, Coaching for Change
Maybe you have many exciting ambitions, aspirations, and plans for growth. You want to see change. But you’re not quite making the progress that you want to.
Or maybe you’re a coach or a leader who helps to encourage change in others. And you’re tired of seeing your clients and colleagues stuck, not quite reaching their full potential.
Drawing from my expertise in coaching and the science of personal change, I have created a free EBook to help you see your own personal change realized — or help others make progress in their growth process. Coaching for Change: A Guide to Facilitating Change for Leaders, Coaches, & Personal Growth Enthusiasts is designed for:
individuals seeking a fresh approach to personal change
coaches looking for resources to support a change process
leaders who need ready-to-go tips & questions to support growth in their direct reports and colleagues
