Four Questions to Build Your Confidence

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Feb 28

Written By Bethany Peters

Be messy and complicated and afraid and show up anyways.

— *Glennon Doyle Melton*

How would you rate your confidence levels? What impact does your confidence have on your job, leadership, and relationships? When you are facing new or intimidating situations, what helps to strengthen your confidence?

Although it is complex to fully understand all of the interconnected dynamics, research shows a compelling link between confidence and individual performance, career advancement, and leadership development.

For example:

Decades of research demonstrate that high confidence is one of the strongest predictors of achievement and impact. (Source: Center for Creative Leadership)
Improved confidence is connected to an increase in nine different leadership skills, including communication, innovation, strategic thinking, problem-solving, change management, and motivating others. (Source: Zenger Folkman)

Perhaps you can link high confidence to some of your best personal achievements or professional accomplishments. But you may also find that your confidence varies noticeably across situations and contexts. Lower confidence levels are definitely normal for most people when faced with a new task or a high-stakes situation.

When you find yourself lacking confidence, this state of lower confidence does not need to define you or derail you. In fact, confidence can be learned, practiced, reset, and refined.

In their study exploring self-confidence and leadership performance, researchers Hollenbeck and Hall unpack what elements help develop confidence and proposed a concrete confidence-building formula that looks like this:

Self Confidence = Perceived Capability - Perceived Task Requirements

Recognizing how you perceive yourself in relation to a specific situation can help you identify what you need to boost confidence in your capabilities. Instead of feeling overwhelmed by a fuzzy cloud of insecurity, you can more tangibly target your gaps. The four questions here provide a simple but streamlined guide to help you recognize what resources you need for a new task, an unfamiliar situation, an unexpected transition, or a challenging role.

1. When have you done this before?

One of the most powerful resources you can tap into to strengthen your confidence is your own experience.  When you are in a new position or completing an unfamiliar task, pause to consider, when you have done this (or something similar) before?  Consider what you did then ... what worked?  What can you apply from that experience to leverage for this opportunity?

You can draw from your previous success stories to boost your confidence for the current context. Even if you feel you have no specific experience that is relevant to the task in front of you, you can still ask yourself:

When did I last feel a lack of confidence? And how did I overcome that?

2. Who do you know who has done this before?

Watching others model new behaviors is incredibly valuable. It provides a visual roadmap for success and can help diminish some of the feelings of intimidation you are facing. When you witness someone else doing the unfamiliar thing you need to do, it normalizes the process. It proves that it's doable, demystifies the experience, and replaces doubt with determination.

Connecting with colleagues or friends who have the wisdom you need can be a huge source of support in confidence-building. By identifying individuals who have successfully navigated the challenges and opportunities you're facing, you gain access to a wealth of insights. When you are feeling overwhelmed or that you lack the skills or knowledge you need, consider this question:

How can you get access to the 'insider tips' that can accelerate your own confidence journey?

3. What are the gaps you need to overcome?

When you’re in a new situation or grappling with a learning curve, it’s easy to get consumed with the overwhelm. But if you can create some space to think concretely and identify the specific gaps you’re facing in your knowledge or abilities, you will be able to form an objective plan to move forward.

Think of the gaps you identify like missing puzzle pieces - valuable data that can help you form a plan. By actively recognizing your shortcomings, you transform your feelings of inadequacy into tangible targets for improvement.

Once you understand the gaps, you unlock two important things. First, you can start to understand where challenges might arise. Perhaps you need to brush up on certain skills and seek tailored support. Second, by pinpointing your gaps, you avoid blaming yourself or perceiving yourself as incapable. You realize it's a specific skillset that needs development, not a flaw in your character. This allows for a much more empowering approach to building your confidence.

4. What resources can help you be successful?

This question helps to shift your focus from limitations to possibilities. It's an invitation to create an inventory of your best assets and tools to equip and empower you to overcome your confidence gap.  

When you are lacking confidence, first take intentional time to reflect on internal resources:  your unique talents, skills, and qualities that will drive your success. This shift in perspective from self-doubt to self-assuredness can help develop internal trust in your ability to take on what comes your way.

Then consider what external resources you can utilize, such as the guidance of mentors or coaches, the power of peer networks, or different types of training and practice.  Realizing the full spectrum of resources available to you builds a sense of security. Knowing you have a variety of tools to rely on bolsters your confidence and reminds you that you're not alone in the journey.